Day Sixteen

Today was our final long day of driving! 

We left Flagstaff, Arizona and spent the full day driving to Palmdale, California. Teddy did amazing in the car, which is a trend for him, he has such a happy and cooperative attitude and is very go with the flow (when he's not throwing up anyway). Henry did fairly well! The same as he usually does (required a lot of attention, asked a million questions, requested snacks repeatedly, etc.) We made a couple stops for gas and lunch and got to the hotel about 4pm and had a small world moment! The gentleman at the front desk saw my New Hampshire drivers license and told us he's from Gilford, New Hampshire! What are the odds of that? Our NH connection got us some complimentary bottles of water and pretzels (score!), and we settled into the room. I swear the boys are like caged animals after we get out of the car and into the hotel room after a day of driving. I want to be understanding and let them go crazy without barking at them to be quiet, etc. but the reality is it's a hotel and there are other people here that might not feel as positively about it as I would. Thankfully we get the keys to our rental tomorrow morning and our rental does not share any walls with any neighbors so they will be free to go nutty and hopefully no one will care!

The movers called and our belongings won't be delivered until 8/6 so we'll be roughing it for a week or so on air mattresses but it's no problem! Thankfully we have everything we needed for the past 16 days in the SUV so we'll be just fine. I got a call today from a pre-k I had waitlisted Henry for, that they have an opening for the school year, so that counterbalanced the movers delay with some good news.

I'm not feeling overly creative or wordy tonight so rather than ramble I'll end here; Time for bed! Stay tuned!

Day Fifteen

When we started making a list of places we wanted to see while we traveled, The Grand Canyon was a place we both agreed was a definite location to stop, neither of us had been and always wanted to. We left Flagstaff, Arizona and drove about 80 miles (roughly 1.5 hours) to the Grand Canyon. Everything I read online prior had said that by 11am most of the parking lots are full and waits to get in can be over an hour, so we got out the door early and we got there at 9am and had no issues parking. I didn't allow the boys to bring their Kindles in the car for the drive since I wanted their eyes to be up and able to take in some of the beautiful sights, instead of staring at a screen. I immediately regretted this. Henry repeatedly made up stories about animals he saw in the woods and would say they ran away "just before I told you I saw them". (Included on this list was a family of cheetahs, which is one of many reasons I knew he was messing with us). We did ACTUALLY see however, 2 little baby deer and presumably their mama on the side of the road and they were so stinkin' cute. I had read a little online about what the park was like, but it was really much more impressive than I had expected. We went through the southern entrance, it was $35 for the car to enter the park and no other admission fees, and we parked at some village parking area. On the way up the mountain I was googling facts about The Grand Canyon such as how many people go each year, when was it discovered, how big is it, how many people die there every year, etc. you know, normal questions, right? (answers: approx. 5 million, somewhere around 10 million years ago, huge, and 12) Anyway, I had no idea what to expect and it was really a pretty extensive operation, not even having seen the actual views. You park and take one of a whole bunch of shuttles to one of dozens of viewing stations, no personal vehicles are allowed. I will say, this place is not even close to being child-friendly. MANY areas had no railings and if you stepped off you'd for sure die. That being said, I have one child who is scared of pretty much everything and another who is scared of NOTHING. Ex: Henry on the way up the mountain asked me how many steps away from the ledge would he need to stand to be safe, we agreed on 3, and he responded "I'll stand 4 steps away just to be extra safe." Teddy, moments after we walked to see the rim for the first time, looked at the canyon straight, up, down, and both sides and looked back at me and with wide eyes asked "I jump in, Mama?" To say I was anxious while we were there was an understatement. One wrong move and forget it. My kids are clumsy as anything, they trip walking normally, which is my heart was likely beating several dozen times faster than my baseline anxiety rate.  Using the stroller would have been a nightmare with all the shuttles so outside of having a leash for him (I realize some people use these, no judgment, I get it) we were left with hand holding or the dreaded request to be carried in 100 degree heat. Henry I honestly think would climb back inside of my womb if it were possible. If I have to let go of his hand even for a split second to grab my keys he acts like he saw a ghost. Teddy typically will hold hands briefly and then say a line similar to "I walk all by myself, Mama" and insist on no hand holding. Today was not a place where I supported his autonomy in independent walking, and forced both boys to be holding my hands really at all times unless we were far away from the ledges or on the shuttles. In all seriousness though, the distance so many of the places we've traveled through from hospitals would be so scary. Minor accidents, whatever, but if you required acute medical care you don't stand a damn chance! Not necessarily by The Grand Canyon (I saw a sign for medical building) but some of the places in Oklahoma or New Mexico where it's endless land and no exits. Damn that'd be scary. I want to know if my heart stops beating that someone could be where I am in a reasonable amount of time to try and start it again. For that and about 95 other reasons I don't want to live in the boonies.

 I could go on and on and on about how beautiful the views at The Grand Canyon were, anyone who has been there knows, they are unspeakably beautiful. I really felt like I wasn't looking at something real and that I was in a dream. Josh took a lot of photos (my hands were occupied with clenching grasps on my dirty children's hands) and we spent a few hours taking shuttles, seeing views, managing hot whiny children, and endlessly shoveling snacks and water into the boys faces. I'm happy that we visited one of the seven natural wonders, crossed something off of our bucket lists, and were able to get at least one reasonable family photo that we don't all look like we hate our lives in.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to start my wild and crazy Thursday night. Following this blog post I will be taking an antacid and falling asleep before my head hits the pillow. I know what you're all thinking..."She's a wild woman! When is she going to slow down" Amiright?

Tomorrow we will cross into California!!!!!!!! Big day!

Day Fourteen

For the first time in our trip today I really felt today like we had gotten somewhere. It felt like all of the environments we'd been in (city, rural, mountainous, etc.) were not anything new to us, they all were familiar settings in that mountains typically look like mountains, cities are cities, and farms and farms. Entering Arizona was breathtaking and like nothing any of us had ever seen. As Josh will attest to, I am a difficult person to impress. Often he and others will be impressed with things that I really shrug off and pay no attention to. The views coming into Arizona were unlike anything I have ever seen and while I was driving so I couldn't put 100% of my eyes on the sights, what I witnessed was remarkable. (Photos below). Unlike so much of our trip, I can really understand the beauty in living in a place like this, and I was in awe at the scenic views. 

We left Albuquerque and the drive to Flagstaff, Arizona was about 5 hours, which I drove all of. Josh and I tend to go into a drive of this length planning to split the drive, but it seems once one of our starts the drive we usually finish the trip. We stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch, none of us had ever been there before and it was delicious! The boys probably had their best behavior in a restaurant so far this trip, and it was overall an enjoyable experience. We treated them to candy from the candy shop attached to the restaurant before we got back on the road. Teddy napped briefly after lunch, was woken up by Henry's absurdly loud voice that he has no ability to control while wearing headphones (still) and they were very silly and playful for the remainder of the drive. We checked into the hotel, relaxed a little, swam, had dinner at the pool, and the boys are watching a dinosaur movie that they love before bed. Arizona apparently doesn't participate in daylight savings (this makes me love AZ even more than I did just solely based on how beautiful it is, because wtf is daylight savings purpose anyway?) so we're now 3 hour time change from New England, which explains why it's 6:30pm and the boys can barely keep their eyes open. 

I think days like yesterday, when you feel really challenged and defeated, as exhausting and demoralizing as they are, are really an important part of life and having any experience. When you feel like you're not doing anything right and have nothing left to give, there really is only one way to go, and that's up. Today felt like we went up. It was much better for everyone. Better attitudes from all of us, more energy, and more patience. I'm sure there's a million cliche phrases about this type of changes in feelings and I'm too lazy to give much more thought into this mentality right now, but lows are an important part of living. When you're in the low, of course, it's probably not an idea that's easy to be receptive to, but when you can reflect on the lows it's easier to see their importance and their purpose. 

It's crazy to think that right now we are at an elevation of just under 7000 feet. Mount Washington has the highest elevation in New Hampshire and it's 6200 feet. It's strange to think that we did not do any hiking/climbing, just driving and no seemingly steep roads, and are higher than the highest point in NH. 

For more fun facts, stay tuned! Kidding. I almost forgot- we saw our first road sign for Los Angeles today which was really exciting for us to see! Goodnight! 

Day Thirteen

Any time someone learned we were driving across the country (whether from one of us or from someone else) there were two very clear types of reactions. The first was something to the extent of "Wow! What an adventure! You guys are going to have such a great trip! Your boys will have such amazing memories!" The other response people had was something to the extent of "You are insane! Why aren't you just flying out? They are both so little! GOOD LUCK (said with sarcasm)." Josh and I tossed the idea around of flying out and having our cars shipped with our other belongings, and tossed around the idea of him driving and the boys and I flying, or one of Josh's brothers driving out with him while I flew out with the boys, etc. etc. What it all came down to, is that this is a move we are taking as a family. And because of that we ended up coming to the decision that whatever decision we made it needed to be one we did all together.

I spent a lot of time preparing for the trip almost obsessively... I had Amazon orders coming pretty much daily with various toddler activity books, car organizers, and so on. I think today it really hit me how challenging this trip has been as a parent. We have not spent more than 2 nights in one location, according to the app on my phone we have spent 31 hours in the car traveling so far (it feels more like 3100 hours), have changed time zones twice, and have been really winging pretty much everything. I thought I had some insight into how challenging the trip would be, since kids thrive with structure and routine and our lives prior to this trip had a lot of structure... but like anything else, I only could speculate what the trip would be like. The truth is I had no idea. The boys are exhausted. They typically wake up with bad attitudes, cry over small and unimportant things, and I'm not sure anything they say is not whiny. To say that Josh and I are feeling pretty worn out 13 days in is an understatement. Overall, I think the boys are probably doing the best they could be doing, with all of the changes taken into consideration, so I think in those moments when I start feeling suicidal/homicidal, I have to remind myself how much this has impacted them and treasure the times when they aren't being turdlers. (Turdler: A toddler who is a turd, does not listen, emotionally unstable, bossy, messy, and very impulsive). I'm sure it will take awhile to settle into a good routine in California. Between moving in, Josh starting his new job, starting a new Pre-K for Henry, and the additional 1 hour time change (3 hour time change total from NH), there will be a lot. I look forward to things being a little more planned and scheduled, and I know that when we're more scheduled we'll all feel quite a bit better and more emotionally regulated.

Today was relatively low key. We had breakfast at the hotel, did laundry, watched a movie, visited Old Town Albuquerque which was really neat, did a couple errands, ate delicious Mexican food, swam in the hotel pool, and are starting to think about the remaining days of our trip. I got an email from our rental office for our rental today to schedule the pick up time for our keys on Saturday, which really hit home how close we are to our final destination. The moving truck company sends us updates on where the truck is every couple of days, last we heard it was in Nebraska, and it sounds like our belongings will be arriving within a couple of days of our move in date. The company (Cross Country Movers) keeps their prices down by combining moves to similar areas of the country and sending them out in shared trucks, so the window for our belongings to arrive is technically up to 14 business days from 7/28. 18ish days without our stuff would be rough, but it sounds like we won't need to wait this long, fingers crossed.

Oh and they shampood our hotel sofa today! 🙏🏼

Tomorrow we're headed to Arizona! Stay tuned!